Empathy in Business

Bob Pointer - CFIL  Global

EMPATHY IN BUSINESS
 
“People often confuse the words empathy and sympathy. Empathy means the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, whereas sympathy means ‘feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune”  Oxford Dictionaries @ Oxforddictionaries.com
 
 Gaining empathy in our communication with others is essential –  or so we are told. But in normal business interactions is it viable? I suppose that all depends what you perceive as an empathetic relationship.
 
 In formal encounters like business meetings we are told we should try to build rapport and be empathetic. But often we get so caught up in our own role in the process that we simply do not have enough capacity to relate at an emotion level with the other participants.
 
 According to Feshbach and  Kukenbecker (1974), empathy has 3 essential parts,

• The ability to assume the other persons perspective – Easily said but not so easy to put into practice especially in Sales meetings and negotiations where all parties are to some extent being “resistant”. Quite often this amounts to “treating them how you would want to be treated”- which in itself is wrong because they are not you!

 

• The ability to tune into others feelings – Feelings are expressed in many ways both verbally and non-verbally and are a natural part of the communication process.The signals we send give insights of our feelings and intentions. Whilst you could learn all about micro facial expressions and other non verbal cues the truth is that just by deploying empathetic listening you will begin to pick up and respond to the other persons “rhythm” naturally.

 

• The ability to connect at an emotional level with the other person - This is where the real problems come in. When engaged in any form of purposeful business conversations where do you draw that line? In terms of emotional engagement this decision alone can make or break the “relationship”. In many instances individuals who are involved in negotiations will be - or feel – exposed and this triggers our bodies natural defence mechanisms making it even harder to build empathy and rapport, as they are in unfamiliar territory.

 
 So, in the terms of formal business interactions, my contention is that the role of empathy has to be considered carefully. Empathy is not easy achievable - but an understanding of the commonality that exists between both parties can be conveyed and understood. Mutual understanding of the others position and a respect for them as a human being and equal is more achievable and in my opinion right for the situation.
 
I shall be making a short presentation to CAP meetings in the near future based on this blog entitled ALF – Always listen first.
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