“I just don’t love you anymore”

“I just don’t love you anymore, that is to say, I no longer wish to contribute to our relationship.  I mean. Was it really worth it? After we initially flirted across a table, we made our mark and you belonged to me! It was great as the whole future was ahead of us. Yet as the months and years went by we drifted apart and you ran amuck as I took my eye off the ball, and eventually, I stopped caring and we parted ways, you were buried at the back of my mind as I lay buried at the back of the drawer! 

We are destined to meet at 65 if not sooner, it’s written!

But I want to meet before. I couldn’t bear you to be disappointed in me, I need to explain myself, why I’ve done what I’ve done.

But in return, you need to ask yourself why did you let it all fall apart, why did you stop giving to me? 

More importantly what do you really want from me? – I am your pension!”

If you neglect your pension, your pension will neglect you! Whether you like it or not at some point you will enter into a relationship with a pension. Are you going to work at it? Or let it fall apart? Will you need to sit down with someone like me and mediate your relationship with your pension? The Choice is yours……………

Paul Smith. Dip PFS, Cert CII (MP) Independent Financial Adviser – Abacus Associates Financial Planning Ltd

Running a business from home without suffering a meltdown.

I think it may have been the way that my husband had put the vacuum cleaner back in the cupboard that started it.
All I remember is that I started shouting for a very long time as my stunned family looked on in shocked silence.
When my husband eventually spoke he had a few things to get off his chest too.

I’d been running my cake-making business from home for approximately a year when ‘Hoover-Gate’ broke.
It was that tiny straw that broke the camel’s back and my brain decided to verbalise a year of exhaustion, fear, isolation and frustration of working for literally nothing.

Like many before me, I had assumed working from home would be the perfect scenario, giving me the opportunity to earn some money whilst simultaneously being around for our young twins.
I imagined my beautiful children in perfectly laundered school uniforms, sat with me at the table in our spotless kitchen, completing their homework whilst the smell of chocolate sponge filled the air.

I hadn’t ever imagined telling my children that there was no time for a bedtime story as ‘Mummy has to work this evening’.
 
And so now, two years down the line we have some sort of routine. It works – most of the time.
May I suggest these helpful hints for you to avoid the same frustrations and arguments.

1. Setting up a business from home is a massive change for the whole family. You need everyone’s support more than any of you could ever know at the beginning. Really talk through what you EXPECT of each other.

2. Look how much REAL working time you have. You might think if you have children that you have six hours a day to work whilst they are at school. You rarely have.

3.  Create dedicated storage and work space where ever you can. Don’t let your equipment take over every room and your family’s space.

4. Set a time for turning on and off the computer or phone. So much time is wasted on emails, social networking etc.

5. If you have a partner, have ‘date nights’ at home. Don’t talk about work.

6.  Keep perspective; let the rest of the world in. Your business won’t collapse overnight because you didn’t update your Facebook page today.

6. Be precise about accounting and filling. You will save yourself much heartache later.

7. Value your work. Don’t undercharge.

8. Value your free time. Don’t over-commit yourself.

9. Choose your mood. Rather than resenting the fact that you have to do household chores and prepare meals etc throughout your working day, embrace how lucky you are to be able to stay on top of it all. You are not getting in from work at 6pm with it all still waiting to be done.

10. Don’t lose sight of who you are doing it all for.

Last week together with my sister I walked around 40 miles of the Pembrokeshire costal path,  to celebrate my sister's  50th and to raise some funds for The Independence trust Gloucester.

It was a wonderful time, we were lucky with the weather and the scenery was just amazing.

On the first day we arrived at Dale in the evening, in pouring rain, went to the one pub in the village, and ordered some food. Next to us sat Karen, who realised we spoke in German, so joined us - she was German too. We swapped info about our respective plans, and met up again next day at Marloes Sands YHA. That night the 'Henhouse', our dorm, was filled with four German women and only one English girl!

The following excerpt is from my journal and describes a small part of day 3:

"we stopped at st brides beach, lovely little village and pretty beach, watched guy in paddling boat with dog playing in sea.

We carried on passed Half way rock, along cliff top paths. Sunny first, then overcast, we walked through a small forest.  Getting a bit of pain due to blister on small toe.

To Little Haven, where we had a longer break and a couple of glasses of cider, very welcome! Pretty beach front and village.  Got plasters (not plastered!) in pub. For blisters :) It worked, changed shoes and I could walk again!"

If I can recommend anything, it is 'take some time out to spend in nature, a break from work, TV, the Internet, mobile phones ( although we did have those with us in case of emergencies) - it does make a world of difference and gives a fresh perspective on life.

Just a little tip for cleaning your jewellery: no need to splash out on jewellery cleaner, washing up liquid ( the biodegradable type is perfect), an old tooth brush and plenty of hot water.  After scrubbing and rinsing, dry with soft cloth and buff with silver cloth or soft duster.

"There are a number of 'secrets' to successful dressmaking, the main of these is 'buy the best you can afford'.

The main component of any dressmaking project is the fabric you will use to make your garment, always choose the best quality fabric you can for your project and you will get better results every time. You need to choose your fabric according to the design being made of course but after that choose a good quality, it's not neccessary to always choose a natural fibre, indeed a synthetic mix will generally be better wearing and will last longer, but a natural fibre will always have a better feel leading to a more luxurious garment.

My latest project is to make a copy of a linen mix shift dress for a customer, she wanted a natural fibre for her new dress which is to be worn to an evening do so I showed her the Beckford Silk website where a multitude of silks made in Beckford near Tewkesbury can be ordered straight from the factory. I love working in gorgeous fabrics so lucky for me she went to Beckford and bought some very beautiful 100% silk dupion and toning habotai silk lining.

I now have the joy of working in this lovely silk and get to make something for myself from the leftovers. Years of dressmaking have taught me to be very economical in cutting out and how to make garments or parts of garments out of the odd shaped pieces that are invariably left over from cutting out a pattern. Perhaps this is why I have rather a lot of odd bits and pieces of fabric stashed away??

On the theme of buying the best, always buy good quality thread, I prefer Gutterman, it will be easier to work with and won't make the sewing machine jam or skip stitches; buy good interfacing, the heat activated glue will stick better and not be noticable and buy quality zips, they will last longer.

Lastly as with any other craft always buy the best tools you can afford and this applies to pins and needles as much as to fabric shears. This is especially important when working with fine silks as good sharp pins and needles won't mark the fabric.

Caroline, Fashion Revived.