Networking is for nobs! That was my opinion back in 2007 when it was suggested I should start networking to help grow my marketing business. I was of course right (not) and would never attend these strange events……until my wife, who was also my business partner at the time made me. I did argue my corner, but….well….

Anyway, I went kicking and screaming to my first meeting and to be honest I felt like a fish out of water….but not for long. These people seemed to be “normal”. I was made very welcome and within a few meetings I felt very comfortable, amongst friends even.

It took a while longer to really get the many advantages networking has to offer. Like spending time with positive people every week, gaining knowledge from experts in various fields, and working with others you can trust. Up to that point I thought it was all about gaining new business!

Well of course I did gain new business, lots of it. It just took a while longer. Before this happened, I hadn’t noticed or indeed even measured how I was doing regarding receiving leads. Why was this? Simple….The support, knowledge and collaboration was just as, if not even more important.

Slowly I began to cease doing things “Paul Way” (which was often the long or wrong way around) and began learning valuable information. I began collaborating with others for mutual benefit, and perhaps the biggest buzz of all ……Giving. There’s something about giving that makes you feel good! I also realised very quickly that the biggest givers were also the biggest receivers.

Now, eleven years later I run my own networking clubs and have been for over six years. It’s been amazing to say the least, and the real beauty is ….My passion for networking has never wavered. There’s something new to learn every meeting, sometimes with huge beneficial consequences for my own businesses…. And then there’s the pleasure of watching others grow and prosper, or helping them through rocky periods, working with people I trust, as a team. I could go on…..
​
So, in conclusion – Was I wrong to trash networking as a form of marketing? Well, yes, in my case I was wrong. Would that be the same for everyone? I don’t know, that’s why we offer free visits at CAP Business Clubs …most groups do. I would encourage anyone to try it out, and even try several groups as clubs vary in structure. One size doesn’t always fit..and all that stuff.
One thing I do know – It was probably the single best move I made regarding my businesses over the past decade and a bit. For once I was glad to lose an argument with my wife….who of course is always right.

​In 1983 German magazine Stern paid £2.33 million for journals said to be the work of Adolf Hitler. Although initially authenticated by Historian Hugh Trevor -Walker the so called “Hitler diaries” were, after forensic examination, proved conclusively to be the work of master forger Konrad Kujau.
 
History is littered with highly skilled charlatans, con artists and bare faced liars. Whilst many are “professionals” using their deceptive behaviour for financial reward, others, for instance politicians, are often creative with the truth in an attempt to gain or hold onto power -Richard Nixon (Watergate) and Jeffery Archer (Daily Star libel action) are just two examples that spring readily to my mind.
 
Current US president Donald Trump dismisses all negative personal comments as “fake news”, while himself often being somewhat economical with the truth. Take for instance the claim that his Inauguration crowd was larger than that of his predecessor Barak Obama’s despite clear photographic evidence to the contrary. 
 
We all can, and do, to a greater or lesser extent lie. Perversely our capacity for dishonesty is as fundamental to our day to day interactions as trust, it really is true that to lie is to be human.
 
Humans are emotional and impulsive decision makers prone to accept some well presented lies even in the face of contrary evidence. Furthermore, there is a school of thought that in the age of social media our ability to separate truth from lies is diminishing.
 
Consequently, our proclivity for deceiving others, and our vulnerability to ourselves being deceived are becoming more and more prevalent aided and abetted by the immediacy of this online world.
 
Amongst other things the Trump presidency is a prime example of how online social media is, for many, becoming the news provider of choice. Where would Trump be without Twitter?
 
Should we be surprised. Not really research has shown that deceptive behaviour is part of our DNA traceable back to our very beginnings. All our connected world has done is accelerated such behaviour.
 
In both our primal, virtual and real worlds manipulation and subterfuge have helped in gratifying our our most basic of  human needs. Separating a “fool from their money” by the use of persuasion and manipulation is much subtler and more successful than any full frontal “smash and grab”.
 
Our curiosity and even admiration towards those who use charm and mistruths to gain an advantage highlights the duality and perversity of our nature.
 
So what are the psychological and neurobiological drivers that underpin our behaviour.
 
We all have our own individual world view. It is formed through the lens of experience and knowledge gained from our interactions with others. We are by nature “herd animals”. Without the implicit trust and belief, we place in our interactions we would be both physically and mentally isolated. This would not be a positive experience.
 
We all routinely use mental shortcuts and unconscious apply rules-of-thumb thinking to make sense of the world around and those in it. We do tend to give people ‘The benefit of the doubt.Inevitably, these instant mental shortcuts will on occasions misdirect us. Our inclination towards trust in others makes us especially prone to the lies of less scrupulous predators that affirm our worldview.
 
Frequently despite exposure the lies of those we feel connected with are coloured by inbuilt beliefs, perception and bias and often ignored, ridiculed or attacked.
 
So the two Russian citizens seen recently in Salisbury at the time of the novichok poisoning are depending on your world view either agents of a foreign state or innocent tourists.
 
“Alternative facts” and “fake news” abound and there is little doubt that our new shiny technological enabled world provides a new frontier for lying and deceit.
 
So what does all this mean? It may be very negative and depressing but the fact (sic) is that the truth is not universal it is personal. Humans may have evolved but our primal inner battle between lies and trust are the same as they ever was.
 
Or is just my own personal truth.
 
 “...but no one was interested in the facts. They preferred the invention because this invention expressed and corroborated their hates and fears so perfectly.” 
James Baldwin (1955)  Notes of a Native Son
 
 

We are all rightly caught up in the euphoria of an England football team for once exceeding expectations and whilst I love the love I feel it will be at a price. Unless we now bring home the trophy the press and many others who now love him to bits, will be queuing up to stick the knife into Gareth Southgate. We seem to love building people up and knocking them down.

We went into the world cup with little expectations and the humiliation of Euro 2016 and defeat to Iceland still very fresh in our minds. We distanced ourselves knowingly or unknowingly from “our boys” THEY haven’t a chance THEY are too young, inexperienced, THEY have no stars, but THEY proved “US” wrong.

Now its not “THEY” its “WE” and the biggest danger is the sudden love and acceptance will prove a block rather than a lift.

So, what is this all about why we, as a nation, seem to be pessimistic by default and then keen to put obstacles or knock down those who try to better themselves and succeed.

Some years ago, I worked as a project co-ordinator for a charity and met two young people who both have had a massive and lasting impact on me. Both it is fair to say had had their problems in their short lives and were quite used to being dismissed or told no but both are by nature irrepressible in spirit and mind.

Will has just returned from a tour of China, runs marathons and seems to be really living and enjoying his life working within the NHS. Emily travelled alone to India and became immersed in the culture and in particular meditation and self- discovery and now is back in the UK a mother and happily settled in Devon. They both refused to be tied down and instead chose to live their lives.

I personally once approached the Essex County Football Association with a proposal to create a football club for disabled children and young adults and was seeking their support in a bid for £10,000 to the FA.

Whilst I received a positive response I was a little annoyed by their lack of expectations for those who would benefit. I laid out my ambition to create a pathway where the players would be able to reach their full potential, whatever that may be, including playing for their country. At this point I was told “it can’t be done”. Those who know me will know that I can be a bit belligerent and stubborn and to me that was a statement not an answer so replied “watch me”. Arrogant? Maybe but I believed in the young people and refused to be limited by their lack of vision or expectation.

In my mind I imagine a similar situation when Gareth Southgate spoke to the FA before the World Cup “I’m taking young untested and internationally inexperienced players and we will bring the trophy home”  response “That can’t be done”………………………………

And by the way, I got the grant started the project and Adam a partially sighted and extremely gifted player went on to play Futsol for England.

For Emily and the very beautiful Waverley and Will you both have my utmost respect for just being you.

There has been a fair amount of research in recent years into the benefits of singing. These encompass the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.  For example, singing increases the amount of oxygen that you absorb into the body increasing alertness. It stimulates the thyroid gland thus helping to balance your metabolism. It improves motor skills by developing the co-ordination between brain and body. Additionally, singing is a great stress management tool and helps boost the immune system, as well as stimulating the release of endorphins thus improving our sense of well being and making us smarter, healthier, happier and more creative.

The mental benefits of singing are, again, numerous. Significantly, it develops one’s ability to multi-task. For example, singing requires you to sing the correct word, at the correct pitch, at the correct time, at the right volume level and with the most appropriate voice quality. Indeed, singing and music in general uses multiple areas of the brain. For those who have suffered some brain damage, perhaps as a result of dementia or a stroke, singing has particular benefits in that it helps our neurotransmitters connect in new and different ways thus ‘re-wiring’ our brains to regain lost function or access lost memories.

On a spiritual level, singing is uplifting and actually a form of meditation. Furthermore, it has been found that singing in groups seems to amplify many or all of the benefits.
It is true that there is a song for every mood. It is said that singing can open the heart and help release emotional blockages but are there some songs that are better to sing than others. This is something that concerns me in my work with the elderly and those with dementia, aphasia or learning difficulties. Whilst these groups still have the capacity to learn new songs in varying degrees, it is easier to concentrate on those that they remember from earlier life experiences or at least can be stimulated to remember.
 
It is thought that our greatest ‘personal song bank’ is generated between the ages of 11 and 27 and, in particular, during the secondary school years between 12 and 18. Hence, the following table gives a clue when choosing songs for particular age groups.
 
Year of Birth                                                Song Era                                            In Particular
1943                                                            1954 to 1970                                        1955 to 1961
​1938                                                            1948 to 1965                                        1949 to 1956
1933                                                            1943 to 1960                                        1944 to 1951
1928                                                            1938 to 1955                                        1930 to 1946
1923                                                            1933 to 1950                                        1934 to 1939

However, this gives a clue and is not definitive. For example, the period from 1955 to the early 1960’s was particularly vibrant with the birth of rock and roll, increased awareness and reference to pop charts and improving economic prosperity. Also, certain wartime songs and traditional songs made a big impact on individuals as did a particular liking for a specific genre such as jazz, country & western or songs from musicals. Another factor relates to the songs that were popular with our parents or our children and when working with a large group, each song choice will not stimulate memories and emotional or physical reaction in everyone. It’s about generating the maximum benefit for the group as a whole.
 
When working with the elderly and those with dementia in particular there is a danger in becoming patronising and assuming that one needs to stick to songs from the first half or the 20th Century or even to nursery songs like ‘Old Macdonald’ when, in fact, the era of Elvis or even the Beatles is having an ever increasing impact.

I’ve never been so popular as this last week. All my old friends and businesses I vaguely remember are getting in touch by email to thank me and ask me to stay on their databases. All because of this thing called GDPR, which comes into penalties after May 25th.
As I was putting the finishing touches to my own privacy policy it struck me there is one massive problem with this last minute effort by businesses.

Pseudo-phishersLots of businesses keep the email brief and then put a big button for me to opt back in. Great keeping it short and direct helps us time-poor recipients.

Often these are for businesses that are not on my normal email lists or sent corporately without my contact’s name. So I’ve no idea if the address is genuine. The opening line is usually reassuring, but also a bit scary. The second line urges action to avoid mutual disaster. And then there is that big button to press to start.

Start what exactly? Because let’s face it this is exactly the modus operandi of a spear phisherman trying to access my computer to extract data. Business behaviour being what it is we know that most companies have left it to the last week to comply. Perfect cover for the bad guys to sneak in. Ironically precisely one of the things GDPR is trying to prevent.
​
Can’t wait for Monday for the emails telling me that I’ve been fined- because of course the ICO will have worked the bank holiday weekend to catch out even more of the unwary. Or would they really?