On Friday on #Radio4 three women were interviewed who very much wanted to have a family but were not able to. They all spoke candidly and heart rendingly of their journeys from assuming that of course they would become #pregnant to well perhaps later to finally when, as one woman expressed it, the "goddess of oestrogen finally leaves" with the menopause, and there is no chance of pregnancy to the social challenges of not having children or grandchildren in older life. There was even the difficulty of who do you leave your precious things to?

As a young woman one can lose friends with children because it is awkward to be childless; there is little in common when the friend is totally engaged in childcare and the pain of being childless is thrown into sharper comparison.

There seems to be a whole strata of women, largely silent in society, who struggle with this pain and sense of losing something that never was. How to express a grief over the loss of someone who has never been there? How to come to terms with a miscarriage of a much longed for baby or the termination of an ectopic pregnancy, when you thought you were, finally pregnant. Perhaps the general attitude can be rather heartless but well meaning - "I expect something wasn't quite right with it" is often said in the hope that that would be some comfort...

My heart goes out to you in deepest #empathy.

I wonder how many women have to bear this pain in silence all their lives?

At a recent meeting I was asked what #chakras were. My imagination of them is as follows: -

We are essentially energy Beings, with the slowest and densest energy manifesting as our physical bodies. As with all energy systems, ours needs replenishing to negate the effect of the #firstlawofthermodynamics. The more subtle, higher vibrations of the energy associated with our energy field are too much for our physical bodies in their natural state so therefore unavailable. The chakras, seven of them located at key points in the body, act as #transformers enabling the more rapid universal energies, which are connected to and surround our bodies - our #auras - to be utilised by our individual physical systems.

Stress, illness, even difficult emotions may interfere with this transformation and flow of energy, resulting in fatigue, feeling out of balance, even more stressed.

Meditation, walks in a calm natural environment in a wood or by the sea, generally a state of physical and mental #relaxation all facilitate the renewal of energy for our physical bodies to work optimally.

Many complementary therapies like #Reflexology, by inducing a state of relaxation, according to clients feedback, may facilitate the effective flow of energy through the chakras to the the physical body.

What is your imagination/idea of #chakras?

Avoiding burn out

You probably don’t have time to read this, because after all, you’re busy running a business, spinning many plates and thinking of the next job you need to do!  But take a moment to read the blog inspired after having two to three very busy weeks, I found myself in a state of exhaustion with a constant headache and not knowing which way to turn.  I know I’m not alone.  After speaking to business contacts in similar situations, we sole traders and entrepreneurs do everything for our businesses.  Answering emails at all hours of the day or night, solving problems, phone calls to make…..  the list goes on.

Don’t get me wrong – I love being busy but I needed to get a grip on my workload and develop an effective work/life balance to avoid it happening again.  It’s not always that easy to take some time out and even less easy to down tools and have a holiday.

So what are the signs of burn out? 

Exhaustion; could be mental or physical.  Do you find it difficult to get moving in the morning?  Are you making silly mistakes you wouldn’t normally make?  Are you finding it difficult to concentrate or have a lower attention span than normal?  Are you forgetting to do things or find your mind wandering?  Are you struggling to get to sleep or sleep for a short time and find yourself staring at the clock in the early hours? 

Solving burn out 

For me, I sought help with a particular problem I was having that I just couldn’t solve on my own.  It wasn’t for the want of trying, I’d spent days and days trying to sort out how to create a brochure good enough for print; a job I hadn’t done before.  Being a perfectionist, my problem was that I was determined to solve it myself, no matter how long it was going to take.  Alongside this, I had other tasks vying for my attention like little devils sat on my shoulder.  In the end I had to admit defeat and enlist the help of a professional printer. 

With the best will in the world, sometimes we just need to get some expert help to take over and solve our particular problem.  Once I’d handed over the project I knew that it was in capable hands and I could rest easy and concentrate on other things.

Avoiding burn out – top tips

Looking after ourselves has got to be first on our daily task list.  Here are my top tips to avoid burn out.

1.     Turn off technology an hour before bed and allow your body to wind down ready for sleep.  Answering that email can wait until morning.

2.    Eat a healthy diet to give your body energy and resilience to deal with everyday life.

3.    Take some regular exercise to build up stamina and allow your brain to disengage for a short time.

4.    Do something you enjoy.  Factor a little time in your diary to do what you enjoy; whether it’s watching a film, reading a book, or participating in a hobby/sport.

5.    Share the responsibility and get some help.  If you’re stuck with a problem or have too much work, there will be somebody that can help you get through it.

What are your tips?  How do you avoid burn out?

Stress - a Monster or a Mouse

Stress is a word that comes up a lot in all walks of life, but particularly in business. It has been found to be one of the major causes of poor productivity, illness and absenteeism.

Relaxation is heard less often and when it is spoken, maybe it is with a wistful tone or with a glass of wine in hand! Nothing wrong with the wine, (in moderation, it is a suppressant not a relaxant), but when was the last time you felt properly relaxed and what does that term mean to you?

To be a bit technical for a mo - sorry it comes from being a Biologist in a "previous life".

Strictly speaking being truly relaxed means switching into one of two nervous systems - the Parasympathetic. This is the house keeping mode as it were. All systems are in repair, rejuvenate, revive and relax mode. There is no sense of alarm. The muscles are neutral, the mind calm and one is filled with an ''Inner smile" ( See William Bloom "The Endorphin Effect"). Think of antelope peacefully grazing in the Savannah.

The other nervous system is the Sympathetic, though it is sympathetic only to your survival. Return to the antelope a moment. All peace and quiet, then one of them hears stealthy footsteps in the long grass nearby. "LION!" Instantly, adrenaline courses through the blood stream, heads go up, heart rates increase, blood pressure goes up to bring a quick supply to active muscles, backs and legs tense… and in a springing bound the whole herd has gone.

Generally, you don't meet too many lions in your day to day life, but many situations make you feel as if one may be around the corner. The trigger varies from person to person, but something rings alarm bells, in an instant adrenaline is released and all of the above physiological changes, and many more, take place. True, you think more clearly, work more quickly, but you can't run away or turn and fight (well not usually if you want to keep your job/client/customer), neither do the stressors go away, if anything they can increase in number. So all these "stress hormones" keep circulating all day, especially if one deadline piles up on another.

OK. So you need some adrenaline to perform well, even to get out of bed in the morning. However, if you have a lot of it all day, day after day, without ever turning it off or releasing it through vigorous activity (a brisk walk, run or a visit to the gym) and also feel you have no control over the stressors, no choice to do something else... bingo! Stress! 

I won't get even more technical at this point, suffice to say, that this state, though helpful in the short term,  if it goes on over a period of time has a damaging effect on just about every system in your body and your health and well-being suffer. Stress becomes a "monster".

As a Reflexologist, I know that my treatment can have a beneficial effect on elevated stress levels. One client who was experiencing a particularly stressful period of time in his business, reflected that it had been the regular treatments that had helped him get through it effectively. Other clients have remarked, with a sigh, "I haven't felt so relaxed for ages" or "I don't think I knew what relaxation was until now". This may be that the gentle treatment of Reflexology encourages the body to switch over into the Parasympathetic system. The body and the mind can become truly relaxed.

In this state, there is less sense of urgency; that pile of "things to do now" looks smaller; you can think more creatively about a particular problem; you feel more patient. As another client said, " I can live my life better". You can breathe. Stress has become a "mouse".

Things to make you go "Hmmm?!"

DEEP TRAUMA AND REFLEXOLOGY

This month I have been talking and writing about trauma and the place that reflexology has in the treatment of trauma. I have talked about the various types of everyday trauma like bereavement, divorce, accidents and redundancy but, of course, most people relate trauma to war time situations and their aftermath and are familiar with the condition referred to as post traumatic stress.

With this in mind, I recalled an instance from my pre reflexology days as a musician playing mainly in social clubs up and down the country. One day my agent called and told me that a club in Swindon wanted me back and he had accepted a date. I groaned because I remembered the elderly gentleman on the club committee who had ‘welcomed’ us on the previous occasion and he was a real misery to say the least. “Just talk to him about the war” my agent advised.

I took his advice and discovered a remarkable story. He had been a rear gunner in bomber command in World War II and had cheated the statistics that gave him virtually no chance by surviving 48 missions including one where the badly shot up plane just made it home to crash land on the cliffs of Blighty. His experiences had left deep emotional scars on him and the rest of his crew. Indeed, two of them had committed suicide after the war had ended.

These days, he would have been offered specialist counselling. However, it’s a pity that he could not only have received counselling but perhaps had reflexology treatments available to him because it is strange that reflexology, for reasons not altogether clear, can have a very positive effective in treating trauma cases. Reflexology helps release negative emotions that are buried in the subconscious and can help heal the soul as well as the body. Indeed, in my own practice, I have always marvelled at the release reflexology can bring about in trauma cases.

After leaving, I felt compassion as I understood his miserable demeanour. Also, I wish I had known about reflexology back then.