On Friday on #Radio4 three women were interviewed who very much wanted to have a family but were not able to. They all spoke candidly and heart rendingly of their journeys from assuming that of course they would become #pregnant to well perhaps later to finally when, as one woman expressed it, the "goddess of oestrogen finally leaves" with the menopause, and there is no chance of pregnancy to the social challenges of not having children or grandchildren in older life. There was even the difficulty of who do you leave your precious things to?
As a young woman one can lose friends with children because it is awkward to be childless; there is little in common when the friend is totally engaged in childcare and the pain of being childless is thrown into sharper comparison.
There seems to be a whole strata of women, largely silent in society, who struggle with this pain and sense of losing something that never was. How to express a grief over the loss of someone who has never been there? How to come to terms with a miscarriage of a much longed for baby or the termination of an ectopic pregnancy, when you thought you were, finally pregnant. Perhaps the general attitude can be rather heartless but well meaning - "I expect something wasn't quite right with it" is often said in the hope that that would be some comfort...
My heart goes out to you in deepest #empathy.
I wonder how many women have to bear this pain in silence all their lives?
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